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A Coach Trip down Memory Lane

The Standen history is an important part of who we are and we hope that we all make new friends and enjoy places connected with our family history. The weekend was planned around a coach trip, with a wonderful Irish singer leading us all in some beautiful Irish tunes on his guitar as we visited some famous landmarks around the beautiful towns of Cobh and Ballycotton. Cobh was the last stopping place for the Titanic with all lights on and dancing on board, and Ballycotton was a place we summered as children. 

I wanted for a long time to connect  with our Irish family.  I refer to George and Prudence emigrating to Ireland. She, Prudence, her parents and an aunt  were  Huguenots. who fled pogroms in France. They were considered clannish and rich merchants and perhaps a threat to the economy.  George also had problems: he had married his brother’s fiancée and was likely ostrasiced by his Sussex family His brother came to Cobh to marry his fiancée   But on arrival in Cobh for the wedding, he had to join his British merchant ship sailing to the Boxer revolution in China.

The Caveys – Prudence’s parents – bought a house on Roches Row at one of the highest points on the steep hill in Cobh to be close to their daughter, and George had his house a little lower down, across from the Island of Haulbowline, the British Marine Base where the two Brothers were stationed. I knew them both as Mummy used to visit her regularly  with Liam in his pram and me trotting alongside with aching small legs complaining all the way climbing up Roches Row.  

Granny Prudence was a very stately lady and gentle and always kindly to me and let me play with her china ornaments which I am sure were valuable.  Her dress fascinated me as she wore a black dress with beautiful large white stiff lace collars. She died when I was 2 years old.   Their house was on the front line, overlooking the island of  Haulbowline, which at that time was a British Naval Base and  it was where George’s ship came and went. You can imagine Prudence on seeing his ship in the harbour, running to get the meal ready. George was a British officer. and later a captain.  

When George’s wife died he bought a Georgian style country house called Dearville. I stayed there with him and enjoyed his company.  He was a keen gardener and loved to grow vegetables. particularly salsify.  He loved oysters and although the salsify looked like parsnips, he said they tasted like oysters. They had 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys.  My father was the eldest. 

The coach took us to some of the places I knew well, such as the house where we lived until 1937.  Rowena, Vass’s sister, commissioned an artist to paint a landscape of Cobh for our wedding gift, a wonderfully thoughtful gesture which I will treasure forever. Next we went to the Upper Park where Liam took an amazing photograph. There were and are just two big houses in the park .  One was our house (the Bishop’s)  which my mother decorated in blue and gold with Persian carpets, and birdseye maple furniture. Another thouthful gift was the photograph of the Upper Park From Liam.  

You can see all the photos when you visit us in Spain – you are all warmly invited!  Then we saw the Crescent, now a  National Trust Property.  If viewed from the sea it is a favourite landmark dominating the harbour. We owned a house in the centre and Elizabeth was born there.  Liam and I played  in the gardens which reminded me of my Auntie Mona’s flat and gardens in Cannes.    The coach driver pointed out several landmarks and our Cobh family helped as well. Then time for pub sandwiches arranged by Michael for a hungry mob.

Finding the lost Family Grave

We stopped at two different cemeteries:  the Cobh Cemetary, and the new Colman Cathedral cemetery. George and Prudence were buried in the latter, and although their graves were moved and disturbed. Tony (whose mother was George’s daughter married an enterprising farmer) replanted the graves and tends them regulary.

I want at this point to mention all the help I  have received from Tony, Margaret and their children. Tony, went to the trouble of getting a copy of my father and mother’s wedding certificate for me (thank you so much Tony!) and I am proud to have family like them.  

At the Cobh Cemetery we visited the section dedicated to the victims of the Lusitania.  The Lusitania was sunk by the Germans, which turned world opinion against them and brought the Americans into WWI.  The ship sank near Cobh Harbour.  Everyone on the trip took pictures of this calm, green and beautiful place, which you can see on the film.

Our WWII connection

Because of the British connection, I tell the following story:  My parents and I were outside the Cobh harbour as my father was deep sea fishing.  Suddenly a police launch came alongside and a policeman boarded.  “War is declared! Dr Standen is wanted immediately in London”. he said.  They took my father away and it was two years and lots of tears later when  I saw him again.  The long arm of the law even stretches out to the Atlantic.

Cobh & the Cathedral

We stopped off at the magnificent natural harbour of Cobh where my son Andrew and I qualified for off-shore sailing with the French Navy from our cousin’s International Sailing Club just below Roches Row.  We all saw St  Colman’s Cathedral, perched high on the hill where all the family were baptised including Elizabeth, Liam and I  and where all those who lived in Cobh were married and buried. You might want to know more about this grand old Cathedral, packed with ancient relics. St. Colman’s Cathedral, overlooking Cobh, carries within its walls the traditions of thirteen centuries of the Diocese of Cloyne.

The Cathedral is dedicated to St. Colman who founded the diocese in 560 A.D. Colman was a poet bard to the Court of Aodh Caomh, King of Munster, at Cashel in Tipperary. Influenced by St. Brendan and St. Ita, he left palace life to become a priest. He received grants of land at Cloyne, on the eastern shore of Cork Harbour, from the King of Cashel. There he founded his monastery, traces of which still survive. This Cathedral is a Gothic gem, built by among other famous architects Pugin, who began but died before he could finish it.

Planning for the weekend

Cobh is a magical & historic city. The plan for the weekend was to show and explain some features and highlights of the area of Cobh (formarly Queenstown) and Ballycotton. We met at a Cork hotel where we boarded a coach for Cobh, with an Irish guitarist on board to fill the jopuirney with a medley of local tunes. I gave a briefing on some of the sites we would see, a true tour guide with microphone in hand. 

The main event was of course, the wedding of Jon and myself or the addition of a new Standen once removed in the family.  We have been together for over 20 years and we wanted to make our wedding a family celebration.  Jon is an architect by education and a builder by trade.  We are well matched as we both enjoy bacon and eggs. 

On the plans for the weekend: a boat trip in Ballycotton’s famous lifeboat, and a trip to the lighthouse on the fiercest rocky coast where the Irish channel meets the Atlantic Ocean; a visit to the memorial for those lost in the RMS Lusitania sinking by the Germans, which turned many countries against the Germans and brought the Americans into the WWI.  The victims’ relatives asked for them all to be buried in a special part of Cobh Cemetery; finally a very important family gathering at the long lost gravestone of the Standens and Caveys who began our branch of the family tree, set in Colman Cathedral Cemetery.

A Celebration at Ballymaloe

• Back to the coach and on to Ballymaloe to unpack, siesta, and dress for the wedding, followed by toasts over the Allen family’s delicious local dishes, and Irish dancing led by a well known teacher.  The local band was filled out by two O’Shea’s on violin and bodhrán: Erica and Brendan. Before the festivites began we had champagne toasts to the bride and groom followed by several very important ones to me: to Nora Kelly, my lifelong friend who helped to make the gathering successful; another best friend Vass Anderson  who was one of the kindest people I have ever known; and the brilliant Jim O’Shea who we sadly lost last year.   They all died recently and I miss them terribly. 

Very special thanks to Erica, Michael  and family, and of course all the pics and videos that keep the memory of the trip alive, from Liam especially, the official photographer, and others who contributed. Last but definitely not least, my beloved son Andrew, who made a film of the two days and we will give you a link to view.  You all look great in the film. Please watch it, and comment if you feel moved to do so. HIs beautiful company for the weekend, Anika, a friend from Vienna, made the short clip which I also love very much. I also want to thank Hazel Allen, a wonderful hostess who impressed us all with her lovely house and staff, and last minute sandwiches and tera when we were all out of gas.  We will always remember you.    

Next day, after a great Ballymaloe breakfast and a little time taking walks and looking in at their shop (Thank you Aidan and Erica for the history of Ballymaloe, which is on our shelf in Spain), we held a birthday celebration for Padraig (1st May and Jon 5th May).  Then about noon the coach appeared to take those to the Ballycotton church and/or the boats and the cliff walk.

In the Safe Hands of the Ballycotton Coast Guard

The last stop was the famous Ballycotton life boat and their “infamous” crew. Aunty Mary “Did a LIne”  long ago with the Grandfather of Colm Sliney, a crew member of the Ballycotton lifeboat and I met his Grandfather when my aunt took me to his whitewashed cottage for refreshments. He was a fisherman like many of the crew.

 I related this family tale whem they agreed to take us all to a trip to the lighthouse and out into the Atlantic ocean. Then the coach headed for Cork Airport for planes to various destinations. 

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